I'm sitting in for Kayla today as a scribe of sorts. She doesn't have time to write before she leaves so she's talking at me and I'm writing for her. Expect a slaughter of the English language from my part.
She's flying to Wisconsin today with our little guy and flipping shit about having to go without me. (You know, somehow the plane is less likely to burst into flames if I'm on it.) She's not a big fan of planes. We're also not big fans of leaving each other. I think the deployment during our first year of marriage gave us some weird separation anxiety/emotional scarring. Now when we're apart we act like mind fucked little dogs whose masters' are about to leave. We whine, mope, bark at the door, drink heavily, and piss on the carpet... well I'm the only one responsible for the last two.
It's true I'm going to miss her like most of you won't be able to understand, however this little seperation has its perks too, like finally being able to sleep on my back. Saying that I love to sleep on my back is an understatement. I lust after it. On my list of desires and needs it ranks right under guns, which happens to be number 4 on that list. Sleeping in the supine (face upward) leaves one undesired effect. I make a noise that sounds a little something like an unwilling grizzly bear being bf'ed by a large bull elephant. Some call it snoring my wife calls it "sleep on your stomach or I will kill you ".
Anyway, she probably won't be posting much for the next week or two. (And that's the only thing she actually told me to write.) You may even see me around again.
She's flying to Wisconsin today with our little guy and flipping shit about having to go without me. (You know, somehow the plane is less likely to burst into flames if I'm on it.) She's not a big fan of planes. We're also not big fans of leaving each other. I think the deployment during our first year of marriage gave us some weird separation anxiety/emotional scarring. Now when we're apart we act like mind fucked little dogs whose masters' are about to leave. We whine, mope, bark at the door, drink heavily, and piss on the carpet... well I'm the only one responsible for the last two.
It's true I'm going to miss her like most of you won't be able to understand, however this little seperation has its perks too, like finally being able to sleep on my back. Saying that I love to sleep on my back is an understatement. I lust after it. On my list of desires and needs it ranks right under guns, which happens to be number 4 on that list. Sleeping in the supine (face upward) leaves one undesired effect. I make a noise that sounds a little something like an unwilling grizzly bear being bf'ed by a large bull elephant. Some call it snoring my wife calls it "sleep on your stomach or I will kill you ".
Anyway, she probably won't be posting much for the next week or two. (And that's the only thing she actually told me to write.) You may even see me around again.
11 Comments:
You sir are one funny dude. :-)
I agree with the commenter above me!!! Took me a minute...or two...to realize what bf'ed meant!!!
Oh, and safe travels :)
Haha... hope she has a great time and that you have all the chores done when she gets home. ;)
chores down?
i'm having trouble learning how to put my own pants on. I here one leg at a time is best.
Oh I can see you becoming a regular feature here :-) I hope Kayla has a good trip and you both survive without each other.
So, yeah, that's my son! He is funny, even with all the cursing. Is supine a swear word... JK! Love you, and can't wait til you're here!
Oh my hubs & I are like that. We have been together nearly 15 years and one or two nights apart and you would think it was the end of the world.
Oh yea- & I know what she is feeling about getting on the plane without you. You men are our protectors- we feel a bit more vulnerable when you are not around. You should get a little boost from that - she actually feels that you are capable of keeping the plane safe while she is in it. At least that is what I would tell my hubs if we had the same convo.
Safe travels....thanks for the smiles Michael:)
Tiffany
That was hilarious
BAHahahaha :D My hubby is learning to sleep on his side. So he can relate. And I can only imagine how it would feel to be apart for any length of time. Take care of yourself!
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